A Surprise for the Private Eye
by thekatqueen
Summary: From a prompt I received on tumblr: Dirk has a crush on Jane and constructs an elaborate plan to get Jane to help him find something he lost (detectives!) but in reality he hasn't lost anything he just wants to spend time with her. That's what I'm shooting for. p.s. I still suck at titles.


This is also on Ao3 by the same name.

* * *

Stress. That's all Dirk Strider felt as he paced around his room. His heart was pounding and sweat was collecting at the back of his neck. In an attempt to calm down, he went through the plan in his head again. Of course everything was perfectly in place and ready to go. He just had to start the reaction. His heart pounded in his chest as he tried to work up the courage to log on to Pesterchum. Walking back and forth in his room a few more times, his glasses light up as his Auto Responder sends him a message.

**TT: Hey.**

**TT: Dude.**

**TT: Calm down.**

**TT: What the hell are you talking about?**

**TT: I am calm.**

**TT: I'm the definition of calm.**

**TT: Look it up in the dictionary and I'll be there, laughing because you were stupid enough to doubt me and the amount of calm I have radiating out of my pores.**

**TT: You're pacing around the room and your heart rate is up by three times your normal rate.**

**TT: You have to stop before you pass out.**

**TT: Just calm down and open Pesterchum.**

**TT: Start a chat with Jane, and get this party started.**

**TT: It's fine.**

**TT: I've got this. Everything is under control. **

**TT: It sure doesn't seem like you do.**

**TT: What's so hard about this?**

**TT: It's Jane!**

**TT: What about her?**

**TT: She's just so...**

**TT: Goofy?**

**TT: Headstrong?**

**TT: Incredible.**

**TT: But it's not that simple.**

**TT: You gonna care to explain?**

**TT: Not really.**

**TT: I already know. You're worried about fucking things up again like you did with Jake.**

**TT: ...**

**TT: Bro, It was a long time ago. You've learned your lesson not to be an overbearing douche, hopefully. **

**TT: Gotta give them some space, you can't keep them in your pocket like a goddamn safety blanket you have to carry around like a fucking two year old.**

**TT: You really need to shut up.**

**TT: You're not helping anything by pointing shit out that's just gonna make me lose my nerve.**

**TT: Then get to it, dumbfuck.**

**TT: The longer you wait, the better chance that you'll not be able to do it at all.**

**TT: Just suck it up and message the girl.**

Annoyed, Dirk closed the chat. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. Today was the day he was actually going to do it. Jane Crocker would finally know how he felt about her. He had everything set up perfectly like a line of dominoes. He just had to start the reaction. Doing one last mental check, he sits down at his computer. Pulling up Pesterchum, he sees that both of the black-haired kids are online. Ignoring the green-texted handle, he refuses to reminisce on what happened between himself and Jake. Not going to bring back the thoughts of being with the adventure-loving dork that he scared away with his suffocating personality. Nope, not thinking about that at all. He swallows his embarrassment and focus instead on the bright blue name below it. Taking another deep breath, he regains his cool composure. Gotta keep shit under control. He clicks on the handle, starting up a new chat

* * *

Jane was sitting at her computer, flipping through recipes online. This is how she's spent a lot of her first week of summer vacation. Jake was out on vacation in the Bahamas and Roxy was busy "babysitting" her little sister, who honestly acted like the older of the two and didn't really need to be watched. Dirk was probably busy with some robot of his because he hadn't messaged her since the day after school let out. This worried her a tad bit. She and Dirk rarely went more than a few hours, let alone a few days without speaking. She had liked to think things were going pretty well between them. But that's fine! If he needed some alone time that was more than okay with her!

She was right in the middle of a recipe for some delicious looking orange oatmeal muffins when her Pesterchum let out a ding. She clicked on the little window that popped up and found Dirk was finally messaging her after all this time.

**timaeusTestified [TT]**** began bothering ****gutsyGumshoe [GG]**** at 2:34**

**TT: Hey Jane.**

**GG: Well hello Mr. Strider!**

**GG: Long time no see!**

**TT: Yeah, it's been a while.**

**GG: How have you been?**

**TT: I'm great thanks for asking. Just fabulous. Nothing but absolute dandiness going on over here.**

He didn't really sound that way.

**GG: Are you okay?**

**TT: I'm fine Jane.**

**GG: ...**

**GG: Okay then.**

**GG: So what do I owe the pleasure, Mr. Strider?**

This time, he didn't respond immediately. After a few minutes, she sent another message, a little worried.

**GG: Dirk?**

**TT: Yeah, I'm here.**

**TT: So, due to some recent events, I may need your assistance.**

**GG: What is it?**

**TT: Well it seems Squarewave ran off and he's in serious need of a tune-up.**

**TT: After the last strifing session, he seems to have gotten hit pretty badly and it messed up some wiring in his head. If he doesn't get some immediate attention, there's really no telling what he'll do.**

**TT: Last time this happened to another bot, he went nuts and starting killing pigeons left and right.**

**GG: My goodness!**

**GG: That sounds absolutely horrible!**

**TT: It was.**

**TT: So I need your help tracking him down, if that's at all possible.**

**GG: Of course I'll help you find him! I'll be right over!**

**TT: Sweet.**

**TT: See you then.**

**GG: Goodbye! :B**

**gutsyGumshoe [GG]**** ceased bothering ****timaeusTestified [TT]**

**TT: Bye Jane.**

**timaeusTestified [TT] ****ceased bothering****gutsyGumshoe [GG]**

Phase one complete. Dirk leaned back in his chair, releasing a breath. The first domino has successfully been toppled. This thing was now fully underway.

* * *

Sorry it took so long for me to get something posted, I've been busy and I've had a horrible case of writers block. This probably sucks.

But here's the deal. I don't have a crap ton of free time between now and the end of next month cause finals and all that junk. I've been working on some other stuff that is a lot easier for me to write, so I can post that stuff (which I am going to) but if you guys want me to continue this, I gotta know. I don't wanna be one of those writers that hold things over the reader's head, but I don't know if I have the drive to finish it right now. If some people care enough, I'll probably work through it as best I can. BUT LET ME KNOW. (If I do continue, it'll be better than this one hopefully because I suck at beginnings)

You can message me on here, through my Ao3 account (I'm thekatqueen there too), or my fanfic tumblr (land-of-spirit-and-shadows - this isn't my main blog; if you follow this one though, I'll follow you through my main. Long story.)

I do have a story my friend and I have been working on that I'll post either the end of this week or next. And yes, it's Karezi.


End file.
